North Idaho Survival Guide: Top 5 Do’s And Dont’s Of Celebrating The 4th of July In North Idaho
Pride Month Is Over. If You Don’t Like It, Go To Spokane.
(Coeur d’Alene, Idaho) — So, you want to experience 4th of July in the most Patriotic, Conservative, majority-Republican part of the nation, but you don’t know where to begin? Or, perhaps you’re an uninitiated liberal stuck on vacation in North Idaho, and you just don’t want to get beat up?
Well you’re in luck! We’ll help you!
#1 — Dress Well!
First of all, you’re going to need to wear appropriate attire. Traditionally, a nice flannel and a pair of jeans will go a long way in North Idaho.
Tomorrow, the weather is going to be 85º with a chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon, so a nice pair of American flag shorts and a t-shirt will probably be your best option.
Whatever you do, DON’T walk around town wearing anything like this:
You will be made fun of.
#2 — Attend Sen. Phil Hart’s Reading of the Declaration of Independence
Traditions are big in North Idaho, and every year from as far back as 2012, Senator Phil Hart Reads Declaration of Independence aloud in downtown Coeur d’Alene at Independence Point overlooking the lake.
This year, Senator Hart will begin his reading at 8:45 am.
It’s a fantastic reminder of the Spirit that our Founding Fathers had when they fought to create our country, not to mention, the Declaration would probably get banned on social media today, so you may as well experience it in person!
There’s no better way to get in a patriotic mood than to attend this event!
#3 — Go to the Coeur d’Alene 4th of July Parade
The 4th of July Parade is always an incredible time to get together downtown with family, friends and neighbors. Rain or shine!
This years parade begins at 9:30 am on East Sherman Avenue in Coeur d’Alene.
Whatever you do, DON’T bring negativity or far-Left politics to the Parade. You WILL get booed and heckled.
#4 — Enjoy The Afternoon With A BBQ
There’s nothing like a good old 4th of July BBQ with friends and family.
Just make sure that whoever is operating the grill KNOWS what they’re doing.
* eating raw or undercooked meat could lead to a severe case of Covid-19
Whatever you do, DON’T drink & drive, or do drugs during your celebration. Weed and other drugs are very illegal in Idaho, and our Sheriff won’t hesitate to lock you up.
“Don’t come to Kootenai County on Vacation and Leave on Probation.”
#5 — Enjoy The Fireworks!
Photo: CRAIG GOODWIN
No matter where you are in North Idaho, you’re likely in for a special fireworks treat. Of course, there’s the big fireworks display in downtown Coeur d’Alene, but literally EVERYONE fires off fireworks on the 4th.
The whole county is practically enveloped in smoke from the gunpowder.
It’s pretty awesome, actually.
Whatever you do - DON’T BE A KAREN and call the cops on your neighbors.
With the limited resources available here in Kootenai County, taxpayers can’t afford to send the cops to every Trump supporter’s house because some liberal is “triggered” by the sounds of the explosions.
If you don’t like it - move.
